How to date like a Newyorker
After moving to New York (or prior), you may be wondering how is it even possible to date around here. All those Sex and the City and even Tinder (horror) stories maybe just got you cornered up… Without really knowing how to behave on a new, unexplored dating territory! Still, there are signs and cues you can follow and learn how to date like a Newyorker… Maybe even better from the ones who were born here!
No labels, no problem
New York is a mix of cultures, sounds, art, cuisine and many more. It’s an 8 million city and you will probably be surrounded by many, many (many!) interesting people. That’s why Newyorkers think they have an option to always choose. Still, these pickings are often unjustified. People feel that a new opportunity is waiting around every corner and always are seeking more. The points is to not label things too fast and always carefully choose the people that you go out with. Also, don’t get tangled up in a “there’s always more” net. Pay attention to the person you go out with, no matter how little do you know them.
Don’t let anybody in
When somebody wants to help you for no reason whatsoever, Newyorkers get suspicious. The truth is that many people here are used to being not just far away from their families, but also being single. A hard game of “work hard and play hard” got people thinking about the rent and the alcohol and the parties and… You get it, right? That’s why it is important to stay genuine and do let people into your life. You really can’t get hurt with superficial connections so be kind first and see the opportunities open to you.
Play hard to get
Ok, we cannot say that one-night stands are rare here. New York is a city full of nightlife life with crazy bars and vivid clubs open until dawn. So people do tend to play hard to get, as there is a party at every step of the way… And the city never sleeps. But playing hard to get is not the thing that you have to say yes to. Also, numbers do say that women in New York outnumber men, but this doesn’t mean a thing. Don’t keep your standards low just because of the statistics.
Profession is a big deal
Work related stress is a big part of a Big Apple. And not without reason. A lot of people here came to succeed and grip tight to their jobs, dedicating more than usual 80 hours per week on a career. Checking on emails and phone messages may be a constant struggle, but don’t get discouraged. Find a peaceful place for a date and ask the other side to put aside its phone, at least for now. If a person doesn’t understand this, then you might as well get the check and go. The good news when you learn how to date like a Newyorker is that you can go whenever it suits you.
Age is not a big deal
The good thing about New York is that is a city that is really open minded when it comes to race, sex and, most of all, age. So you can be single no matter how old you are and you can date younger and older people without judgment. It’s a very hedonistic environment where it’s important to have fun, but also very career oriented, so people may not be ready to settle before they have all of their life figured out. This may be tricky as people do not really think what they want – they just date. But let this be a good advantage for you if you ever had any complex regarding your single life. And most important of all – think about what you want from love and why.
The place is important
Ok, let’s be real here – the place you (or the other part) choose for the first date is very important. It determines half of the things you may still not be aware of, like social status, dress code, artistic views etc. Newyorker will probably try to impress you with a pick of place, but do not be fooled. Real, genuine people really don’t care where they go (except when it comes to good coffee), so do your best not to look from above when somebody proposes something that you (think) you don’t like. Great date depend not only on the place you go to, but more on the person you are with.
Date more people at the same time
As we already said, speed & possibilities are New York’s things: you can choose anything you want to eat, wear, drive, watch etc. and get in a short period of time. And because of the busy lifestyle, people are always on the hurry and often date and chat with more than just one person at the time. Hey, we’re not suggesting you should put your focus on one person (ie stock that person everywhere you can), but do try to keep the balance. Dating more than just one person can make you exhausted and at the end of the day, you may not get one quality date. Besides, if you spread your attention on more than just one, how can you ever see the quality of the one? Remember, multitasking never gives quality results.
The one thing is sure: Newyorkers value their time. Nobody wants to stay until the end of the play if they assume they don’t like it in the first 15 minutes. Although this may be handy when you are in a hurry, looking at your phone while you’re on a play and realizing that you find it boring may just be the case of you not paying attention to neither your phone or the play. If you want results, you gotta give it time. Approach things with open eyes and open heart, try to be more human and less being.
Of course we know it’s not easy when you are single, and you suddenly have to learn How to date like a Newyorker. Our advice is to stay true to yourself and open up for new possibilities. Only in this way you will find the love you deserve.